The judge once told me that I could never be rehabilitated. Then he proceed to sentence me to 110 years WITHOUT parole for a crime I committed when I was 17 years old.
Well that old judge was wrong!
I am not the same drug-crazed child that I was at the time of my conviction. I am haunted by the things that I have done, and I am deeply ashamed. Today I am a Christian and a non-violent person. I have been inside now for nearly two decades, and I have only one violent infraction -- and that was 15 years ago in 2000. No fights. Nothing. I have been (am currently) involved in many positive programs, such as Self-repair, beautification projects, anti-violence organizations. I currently facilitate a painting course for other inmates, and I have facilitated Release Readiness, Cognitive Change, Getting it Right, and several other self-repair programs. I advocate self-awareness, Christian morals and non-violence.
Men CAN be rehabilitated in the "correctional" environment. But they have to want it, and they have to work very hard for it. Rehabilitation doesn't happen overnight, but over the course of many years in the crucible of hardship.
I am 37 years no and I hear that big changes are coming down the pipe regarding juvenile lifers. My hope is thus renewed and my fight has begun again. I pray each night for a legal advocate willing to help me get back into court. I make plans for my future in the free world, even though it is yet uncertain. I wan to help others, so if I am to be freed someday, I will revisit prisons and speak to inmates. I want to share with them the message of hope and perseverance in the face of impossible odds.
To anyone who may reading this, I implore you: NEVER GIVE UP YOURSELVES AND NEVER GIVE UP ON THOSE WHO NEVER GIVE UP. There is a spark of change in some men, and that spark should always be fanned into a bright flame.
Recently I have written a book entitled BANISHING THE DARKNESS. It is a collection of all my writings and achievements over many years in prison. It is a story of rehabilitation, faith and growth toward maturity despite all odds. IT IS PROOF THAT THE OLD JUDGE WAS WRONG! For a free copy of my book, contact me at:
Derrick Steilman 782010
CBCC GB20
1830 Eagle Crest Way
Clallam Bay, WA 98326
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