It is up to me

What I am doing in my life.

Time fly's when you stay busy, so I am doing several things to stay occupied and productive.I love to produce and learn new things and grow as a person, often times in this environment of prison especially, but in life also people get complacent and therefore don't move forward. and we are constantly in motion so if your not moving forward then your moving backwards. I am challenging myself to be successful despite my life in prison sentence that I currently have I won't use that as a crutch to be complacent and let my life rot away. I have faith that my life has purpose and meaning as do each and every life. and I am determined to live up to that and be successful in fulfilling God's plan for me. 

This is what a typical day looks like for me, 

I wake up around 6:45 am and then get ready for the day and start out doing Spanish studies until breakfast. 

After breakfast I go to work and get done around lunchtime, after lunch I practice piano I have a keyboard in my cell and am learning music, it is very fascinating. when I learned to play guitar a little bit it wasn't formally by any means just how to play some chords and I just went from there learning timing and whatnot but on the keyboard I'm learning everything and there is definitely a lot to it. I am attending a music class which I attend once a week also. 

After that I draw I love to draw and paint I have a passion for creating something from nothing. I love art in all forms. it is such creative expression and a way to release your emotions in a healthy way and share yourself as a piece of me goes into every work of art in which I produce. 

Also, each day whenever my gym time is I go and lift weights I enjoy exercising, and also eating good. so whenever my gym is I squeeze that into my schedule. 

I also talk with my wife several times a day which is the highlight of my normal days. 

Dinner is between 5-530, after that have a couple more calls with wifey, then I go and do home work and study, 

Also, I am enrolled in college, and am working on a bachelor's degree in Theology and I enjoy more and more the study of God. 

On Monday evenings I go to the law library, and do research on my case working towards a relief from this erroneous conviction, and throughout the week I pull my legal work out and read and study. 

On Thursday new nights I assist in teaching a painting class it is satisfying to be able to share my knowledge with the next person so they may share my passion for arts and enjoy the struggle and process of learning.

I don't watch much TV, I watch a few shows here an there. I have been watching tyrant recently, although I am getting somewhat bored with it. I watch some of the political soap opera and see how it unfolds with each new piece of dirt that comes out on both candidates that are running for president it is unreal that these are the people that we put up to be president. 

Anyways this is an overview of what my days look like, thought I would share with you.

Vintage prison folk art at its finest - My Album

The music that I made was something that I have always wanted to do. I have wrote poetry and songs for along time since I was a teenager. and have always wanted to bring my lyrics to life with music and finally I had the chance.

Last year I  was able to get into a music program with some talented musicians and have access to a studio. I had about 9 months in which I was able to learn how to actually put the lyrics into music. it was much more challenging than I ever expected. I also had to learn how to use all the equipment to produce the music. I had some help from friends who contributed in different ways but I produced, wrote, sang and played in all the songs.

The title of the Album is “Life without parole” as I am a man serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole for which I am innocent of the crime I was convicted. I am going deep into what I have been through and how I have changed. This is vintage prison folk art at its finest,  it was all written produced and played in prison and the music program is now shutdown so making future music in here won't be possible.

I am living proof to the testament of change, coming from such an ugly existence like a flower growing out of iron and concrete. so let my works speak for themselves and my actions speak louder than words.

It began with my heart is on the line, as what I was initially inspired to do was to make a song for my girl, it is a very personal song since it was me putting my heart on the line and how I really got her; there are a couple of additional romantic songs where I explore all sides of me as at heart I am truly a romantic, these songs are dedicated to my beautiful wonderful wife who inspires me in so many ways to go for my dreams and to not settle for less to not be mediocre, not letting  the bounds of my physical limitations limit my potential. It is difficult to find the words to express all the things this woman has done for me in so many ways and to experience real true love,  to be with the person that you are meant for, changes you in such a way that everything in life works and flows. don't get me wrong things aren't always perfect but everything always works out.

My life is a perfect example of overcoming adversity against all odds to find success. I won't stop I won't give up. anything that comes from this is going to go towards my lawyer. Time is on my side and I have God in my corner along with a lot of family and friends who support me.

We need criminal Justice reform rather than just locking people up and throwing away the key. Here I am to let my voice be heard, a man locked away in the lost vault of time. I am not just a convict, I am still human a person, with real feelings and emotions so here is an in depth look at me in different lights.

Please stay tuned to  find out more,  you can look for more to come. such as a book that has been in the works for some time and is getting closer to being done I don't want to give too much away.

Album available on iTunes  Google  Amazon

Love

To me the #1 rehabilitating factor is love and support.

For me, what made me realize there was more to life and seeing the error in my ways and to care about something again and take responsibility, it was love.

Love changed me. Plain and simple. I am the man I am today through love and heartache and ultimately to find my soul mate. As corny as that may sound and may be it is the plain and simple truth. That is not to say that at one point I thought "well if this doesn't work out, I will just revert back to my old ways", no, I had come far enough to realize that I wanted to be a better person regardless , asking myself  "Why should I do that? "Just at that moment of clarity I was blessed to meet the love of my life. And wow how my life changed even more.

To be able to connect with somebody on a whole next level. And to understand as well as be understood. The feeling that this brings is unlike anything I have ever experienced. I cannot even begin to describe how much more life makes sense, my whole life I've never known what I wanted or what I wanted to do, but now everything is so clear and my life together with my fiance makes perfect sense. Even if at the moment were this journey will end up is not clear. I am confident having a sense of security within about everything working out. It almost seems strange that a man in my position having such an optimistic outlook, I feel that life has given me a chance to make something out of nothing, and turn a life that was going nowhere, into a life that could change lives someday.

What we have a lot of people wouldn't understand. And I want to go further into explaining that so maybe people could understand this what has been called a "taboo". I have written a book, it is a book of poetry but it also tells a story and within the story is a journey through love, loss, heartache, prison, how I've changed and who I've become. I am still in the process of doing illustrations. All of the book is illustrated. So I'm excited to get that done.

Thank you for listing again please bear with me, I am new to this, but I enjoy expressing myself and sharing with whomever has an open mind enough to read it.

Please check out http://www.tomtaylorsfineartplace.com/ if you would like to preview some of my work or learn more about me, if you are interested in art work check me out. I love to do portraits I am good with black and grey that is my specialty. I have awesome deals and quality work they make wonderful gifts, great for a keepsake of your kids, to capture a special memory, a loved one, family portrait, valentines, anniversary, wedding, any occasion is going to be something I would love to capture and bring life for you.

Take care until next time

Tom Taylor

Lock Down - My experience

Hey there, hope your day is going well, this time I want to tell you some about what this lock down experience has been.

The first day it was bad because in my cell there isn't a toilet so the cops have to open the door during lock down to go to the bathroom, well they didn't open the door for restrooms for hours. And I had to go. Luckily I have a coffee jar so I end up using that. I have been sick, like had a fever, sore throat, headache, cough, runny nose, a typical cold. And I was just coming down with it on that day. Because of that I really didn't do a whole lot on the first 3 days , we were all locked in, no shower, no phone, no anything. Only out 2 at a time for the restroom. There is roughly 80 or so people in my unit so it could take a while before getting to go to the restroom. Did I mention the coffee jar? Good thing for that, right?. On the third day I got to take a shower. But still no phone. I was really missing my sweetheart a lot. Worried how she was. Thankfully I got to talk with my babe on the fourth day and it was wonderful to hear her sweet voice again. 

So then the next day was a shower, then had a good conversation with baby the following day. It has been every other day one is shower, one is phone, Today was a shower day. We shall see what happens tomorrow. The last notice they gave us said that we were on lock down through today. So hopefully tomorrow will be some more phone time, anyways I have been very productive during this last week.

I have been alone in my cell this whole time. Shortly before this incident occurred they had moved my celly to another unit and I have not gotten a new one yet. So it actually has been really nice to be able to have my own space during this lock down. I have been able to get a lot done. I've wrote a lot, finished a couple of paintings. So far have done 6 pieces for my book. I went through all my belongings and reorganized my stuff, consolidated it, and have a lot more order in my life. However, it has been hard not speaking with my lady she is a huge part of my life and we always talk, so not being able to is difficult, But I know that everything will be ok and it has really put into perspective for me how real it is, how much I love her and what a huge roll she plays in my life.

Now I am tired I have been working all day. So I'm going to go but please don't forget to checkout http://www.tomtaylorsfineartplace.com/ and don't be shy, ask me a question give me your feedback, or with me a suggestion. Take care and have a good day.

Tom Taylor. 

Lock down

Hey how is it going, well for me, I have been on lock down for a week now. There was an incident that involved an inmate brutally attacking a cop, which I think it is not right, I guess that guy could not handle whatever had happened I am not sure what led to it going down.

Let me just say that as petty as things have been nit picking on every little thing pushing buttons, it doesn't entirely shock me that something like this would eventually happen however, I don't understand why this guy had a beef with this particular cop. At least from my perspective, that guy was not a guy who did treat people unfairly, he had always been fair with me and had respect which is all I ask for.  I don't know, maybe he treated others differently but for me I didn't see anything that would cause somebody to do this. It was crazy.

So where I was?  well let me tell you that this the cop was my boss of my previous job and last week was my last week. He had just had me sign my pay stub 5 minutes before this and I was just getting up not to long before this and heading over to go use the phone, I had just got on the phone was talking to my woman, when I heard a loud noise and commotion and saw what had happened, at that moment I hung up the phone and moved away from the area, as the cops were coming in and telling everybody to cell in. After that they took the guy out on a stretcher as he had been hit with a steel stool I believe that came from the desk in the cell. I was in disbelief really. It was crazy, the had a police officer come in crime scene tape up around the day-room, they were taking video of all the blood and everything. I thought that the guy could have died and I prayed for him to be ok, What I have hear that he is ok but it was serious, I think he is still in the hospital and we are still on lock down.

There has just got to be better ways of dealing with issues. Now that this happened I am sure that there will be changes. It has been my experience that whenever something major occurs that there are a series of changes, new rules, and some stuff taken away. It is never good. The thing that I don't get is that it doesn't have an effect on the guy who did this, because he won't be back here never again and its just the rest of us will be punished for it. Well next time I'll tell you what it has been like this last week of lock down. Until next time.

Hey be sure to look into Tom Taylor's Fine Art place and check out my work. I want to do work for you. My woman is working with some graphic designing and putting my art on to T-Shirts. Also I am thinking of doing Tattoo designs for sleeves and stuff or some prison art stuff. What do you think of those ideas? Do you have any ideas of what you would be interested in? Let me know.

Take care and please send out a prayer for that man who was injured

Tom Taylor

Guest: Derrick Steilmann

The judge once told me that I could never be rehabilitated. Then he proceed to sentence me to 110 years WITHOUT parole for a crime I committed when I was 17 years old.

Well that old judge was wrong!

I am not the same drug-crazed child that I was at the time of my conviction. I am haunted by the things that I have done, and I am deeply ashamed. Today I am a Christian and a non-violent person. I have been inside now for nearly two decades, and I have only one violent infraction -- and that was 15 years ago in 2000. No fights. Nothing. I have been (am currently) involved in many positive programs, such as Self-repair, beautification projects, anti-violence organizations. I currently facilitate a painting course for other inmates, and I have facilitated Release Readiness, Cognitive Change, Getting it Right, and several other self-repair programs. I advocate self-awareness, Christian morals and non-violence.

Men CAN be rehabilitated in the "correctional" environment. But they have to want it, and they have to work very hard for it. Rehabilitation doesn't happen overnight, but over the course of many years in the crucible of hardship.

I am 37 years no and I hear that big changes are coming down the pipe regarding juvenile lifers. My hope is thus renewed and my fight has begun again. I pray each night for a legal advocate willing to help me get back into court. I make plans for my future in the free world, even though it is yet uncertain. I wan to help others, so if I am to be freed someday, I will revisit prisons and speak to inmates. I want to share with them the message of hope and perseverance in the face of impossible odds.

To anyone who may reading this, I implore you: NEVER GIVE UP YOURSELVES AND NEVER GIVE UP ON THOSE WHO NEVER GIVE UP. There is a spark of change in some men, and that spark should always be fanned into a bright flame.

Recently I have written a book entitled BANISHING THE DARKNESS. It is a collection of all my writings and achievements over many years in prison. It is a story of rehabilitation, faith and growth toward maturity despite all odds. IT IS PROOF THAT THE OLD JUDGE WAS WRONG! For a free copy of my book, contact me at:

Derrick Steilman 782010
CBCC GB20
1830 Eagle Crest Way
Clallam Bay, WA 98326

Out of the Prison's Cycle

In this world of evil, I walk a fine line to good in a bad place. Like walking a tight rope.
Everyday there is a new challenge whether it be from an asshole cop who thinks there job is to make our lives in here a living hell, or it be some jerk in here who has something to prove or is stock in the cycle of prison politicizing that he can't think outside the box. Thinking outside the box is what I have to do. As most are so limited with what they feel they can do. No able to expand their thinking.

Prison can definitely do that to a man if you let it.  Become a victim of the cycle. Wake up go to breakfast, and sit around playing poker or pinnacle talking bad about this guy or that guy, or who's the toughest, waiting or gym and yard to come, then go to gym, yard and back to cards, and watching T.V. then the cycle just keeps going until they get in trouble for whatever doing drugs, fighting, whatever it maybe.

So instead I keep myself busy from the time I get up till later at night then relax, I want to make something of my life. I realize who I was and I don't like that kid. But the man I've become has learned from those mistakes and grown to become talented skilled and to fulfill my place in life. Just striving for another chance in society. The time will come of that I am certain, with God in my heart and the most amazing woman by my side I know I will see the light of day. Until that day comes, I've got to stay strong and keep marching forward, a lone soldier to the beat of my own drum, not letting my negative environment pull me down.

Tom Taylor.