It is up to me

What I am doing in my life.

Time fly's when you stay busy, so I am doing several things to stay occupied and productive.I love to produce and learn new things and grow as a person, often times in this environment of prison especially, but in life also people get complacent and therefore don't move forward. and we are constantly in motion so if your not moving forward then your moving backwards. I am challenging myself to be successful despite my life in prison sentence that I currently have I won't use that as a crutch to be complacent and let my life rot away. I have faith that my life has purpose and meaning as do each and every life. and I am determined to live up to that and be successful in fulfilling God's plan for me. 

This is what a typical day looks like for me, 

I wake up around 6:45 am and then get ready for the day and start out doing Spanish studies until breakfast. 

After breakfast I go to work and get done around lunchtime, after lunch I practice piano I have a keyboard in my cell and am learning music, it is very fascinating. when I learned to play guitar a little bit it wasn't formally by any means just how to play some chords and I just went from there learning timing and whatnot but on the keyboard I'm learning everything and there is definitely a lot to it. I am attending a music class which I attend once a week also. 

After that I draw I love to draw and paint I have a passion for creating something from nothing. I love art in all forms. it is such creative expression and a way to release your emotions in a healthy way and share yourself as a piece of me goes into every work of art in which I produce. 

Also, each day whenever my gym time is I go and lift weights I enjoy exercising, and also eating good. so whenever my gym is I squeeze that into my schedule. 

I also talk with my wife several times a day which is the highlight of my normal days. 

Dinner is between 5-530, after that have a couple more calls with wifey, then I go and do home work and study, 

Also, I am enrolled in college, and am working on a bachelor's degree in Theology and I enjoy more and more the study of God. 

On Monday evenings I go to the law library, and do research on my case working towards a relief from this erroneous conviction, and throughout the week I pull my legal work out and read and study. 

On Thursday new nights I assist in teaching a painting class it is satisfying to be able to share my knowledge with the next person so they may share my passion for arts and enjoy the struggle and process of learning.

I don't watch much TV, I watch a few shows here an there. I have been watching tyrant recently, although I am getting somewhat bored with it. I watch some of the political soap opera and see how it unfolds with each new piece of dirt that comes out on both candidates that are running for president it is unreal that these are the people that we put up to be president. 

Anyways this is an overview of what my days look like, thought I would share with you.

Love

To me the #1 rehabilitating factor is love and support.

For me, what made me realize there was more to life and seeing the error in my ways and to care about something again and take responsibility, it was love.

Love changed me. Plain and simple. I am the man I am today through love and heartache and ultimately to find my soul mate. As corny as that may sound and may be it is the plain and simple truth. That is not to say that at one point I thought "well if this doesn't work out, I will just revert back to my old ways", no, I had come far enough to realize that I wanted to be a better person regardless , asking myself  "Why should I do that? "Just at that moment of clarity I was blessed to meet the love of my life. And wow how my life changed even more.

To be able to connect with somebody on a whole next level. And to understand as well as be understood. The feeling that this brings is unlike anything I have ever experienced. I cannot even begin to describe how much more life makes sense, my whole life I've never known what I wanted or what I wanted to do, but now everything is so clear and my life together with my fiance makes perfect sense. Even if at the moment were this journey will end up is not clear. I am confident having a sense of security within about everything working out. It almost seems strange that a man in my position having such an optimistic outlook, I feel that life has given me a chance to make something out of nothing, and turn a life that was going nowhere, into a life that could change lives someday.

What we have a lot of people wouldn't understand. And I want to go further into explaining that so maybe people could understand this what has been called a "taboo". I have written a book, it is a book of poetry but it also tells a story and within the story is a journey through love, loss, heartache, prison, how I've changed and who I've become. I am still in the process of doing illustrations. All of the book is illustrated. So I'm excited to get that done.

Thank you for listing again please bear with me, I am new to this, but I enjoy expressing myself and sharing with whomever has an open mind enough to read it.

Please check out http://www.tomtaylorsfineartplace.com/ if you would like to preview some of my work or learn more about me, if you are interested in art work check me out. I love to do portraits I am good with black and grey that is my specialty. I have awesome deals and quality work they make wonderful gifts, great for a keepsake of your kids, to capture a special memory, a loved one, family portrait, valentines, anniversary, wedding, any occasion is going to be something I would love to capture and bring life for you.

Take care until next time

Tom Taylor

Guest: Derrick Steilmann

The judge once told me that I could never be rehabilitated. Then he proceed to sentence me to 110 years WITHOUT parole for a crime I committed when I was 17 years old.

Well that old judge was wrong!

I am not the same drug-crazed child that I was at the time of my conviction. I am haunted by the things that I have done, and I am deeply ashamed. Today I am a Christian and a non-violent person. I have been inside now for nearly two decades, and I have only one violent infraction -- and that was 15 years ago in 2000. No fights. Nothing. I have been (am currently) involved in many positive programs, such as Self-repair, beautification projects, anti-violence organizations. I currently facilitate a painting course for other inmates, and I have facilitated Release Readiness, Cognitive Change, Getting it Right, and several other self-repair programs. I advocate self-awareness, Christian morals and non-violence.

Men CAN be rehabilitated in the "correctional" environment. But they have to want it, and they have to work very hard for it. Rehabilitation doesn't happen overnight, but over the course of many years in the crucible of hardship.

I am 37 years no and I hear that big changes are coming down the pipe regarding juvenile lifers. My hope is thus renewed and my fight has begun again. I pray each night for a legal advocate willing to help me get back into court. I make plans for my future in the free world, even though it is yet uncertain. I wan to help others, so if I am to be freed someday, I will revisit prisons and speak to inmates. I want to share with them the message of hope and perseverance in the face of impossible odds.

To anyone who may reading this, I implore you: NEVER GIVE UP YOURSELVES AND NEVER GIVE UP ON THOSE WHO NEVER GIVE UP. There is a spark of change in some men, and that spark should always be fanned into a bright flame.

Recently I have written a book entitled BANISHING THE DARKNESS. It is a collection of all my writings and achievements over many years in prison. It is a story of rehabilitation, faith and growth toward maturity despite all odds. IT IS PROOF THAT THE OLD JUDGE WAS WRONG! For a free copy of my book, contact me at:

Derrick Steilman 782010
CBCC GB20
1830 Eagle Crest Way
Clallam Bay, WA 98326

Light upon darkness

I would like to take this opportunity to connect with you, share my thoughts and  reflections as well as create an opportunity for some of my pairs to share a bit of there story,

A lot of people have a certain set of views towards people in prison "criminals" so to speak, as consequence, we the "criminals" end up falling into a hard category to overcome, of course, there are always plenty of examples of those who continue down the same path elevating there criminal acts as they progress. Those examples are everyday available at the media (called Television, Radio and Internet) , to which the media, government and DOC exploit to push their propaganda. They say: "We need more money, more cops, more security, let's lock em up and throw away the key. take away their privileges and programs, lock em in the cell". Sadly, this only multiplies the problem in a continuous cycle of negative behavior.

What the people don't necessary hear about  is all the positive things that are happening in this dark cold world of chaos and criminals.  There are plenty of men who have made changes, grown up and  have improved their behavior and  arranged their priorities in life. Many men I know personally entered the system at a young age convicted of serious crimes that generated life sentences or an outrageous number of years that constitutes defect life, myself included, but I have changed,  after an in depth look into my personal situation: what I have done and what I want to do now based on my experience through being locked up, what I mean is that rehabilitation is possible and not all of us are the same person that entered the prison 5, 10, 15 , 20 or so years ago.

My intention through this platform is share a message, and that message is that there are many of us who through this struggle through these horrible choices made,  there is light at the end of the tunnel. And just because there is darkness about darkness cannot cast shadow upon all the light, and we can speak out to be heard. There are people who can make a difference. It is people like myself and others who are on the same path or similar with me, who can possibly reach the youth of america, or the next generation of criminals , to tell them that there is hope, and there is a good life for all who are willing to work for it.

So thank you for listening and we plan on providing much more content as we are able to, hoping that there is an audience who is willing to listen. Please check out http://www.tomtaylorsfineartplace.com/ to see what I do with some of my time. Until next time take care

Tom Taylor